the condom got lost in my hair
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
