i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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