The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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