I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize