I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
