My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
