Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
