i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
