I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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