Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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