I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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