What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
