White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Four minutes until I can fart!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
