Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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