i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
