i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
