So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize
