I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
