"it" just moved
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
