We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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