I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
