is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Two words: nipple clamps
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