doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
