So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize