when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
