she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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