I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
