the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
