My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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