Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ketchup is God's man juice
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
