some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
