wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
