I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Two words: blizzard sex
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
