The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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