I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
