I'm sorry my penis didn't work
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize