he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
