Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
