I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize