do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
