is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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