Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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