That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
