She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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