hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
