I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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