Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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