Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
