am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize