Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
