You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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