Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
