sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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