you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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