I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
