Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
