I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
