I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
