so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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