Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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